Many years ago, on September 8th a nervous young lady was about to marry a young man. They had committed their lives to each other at the very beginning of the year. Neither knew what the future held in store for them, but both were excited about the possibilities. She had been in college, but could not wrap her head around finishing that path because she was expecting a baby and knew this new family would take all her attention.
Funny how she had never dreamed about a big wedding day or having a family, unlike most girls she knew. She had never dated much and was quite frankly afraid of most men. But this young man she was about to marry was different. He put her at ease and made her feel special. He loved her and it would take her many years to better understand this.
The wedding day was the most special day she had experienced to this point in her life. She felt it was all for her and she was not afraid to celebrate herself and her decision to marry this man. It was amazing to see people come to her wedding and reception to celebrate this wonderful day. Weddings are but a vapor in the wind, the real test of a relationship is the years after the wedding.
She vowed to herself that she would avoid things she had seen in other marriages—and that meant that she would have to be willing to compromise her desires in order to build a strong relationship. She was not perfect at this and there were many rough spots, but through it all they both chose higher ground and decided that they wanted to be together more than they wanted their own way. This is the story of my marriage.
I have had some people asked how we have stayed together so long. Here are some of my ideas.
- We love each other enough to give up some things in order to keep our relationship.
- We also have learned over the years how to give each other time when needed.
- There is also a need for good presentation skills. Demanding something gets you an argument but presenting an idea with the opportunity for your spouse to say no or take time to warm up to the idea makes all the difference in the world.
- Being able to accept that no one is perfect and being willing to help each other grow goes a long way toward a happier life.
Yesterday Bob and I celebrated 39 years of marriage. As we went about our day we thought of our wedding day and wondered where all the years have gone. We wondered how time went by so fast. We celebrated each other.
It was a rainy day so we decided not to go out. Our desire was to just be together, to dream and share life. I reflected on the years with Bob and what I realized is that he has been strong when I was weak and I have been strong when he was weak. He has always taken care of me, in good times and in bad. I truly believe that God brought us together and has kept us together all these years.
Every day brings new opportunities to learn and grow. Would you join me in learning and growing with your spouse, family and friends? Enjoy your week and I will be back next week with more.