As I went through some medical procedures recently they used anesthesia that caused me to fall asleep. When I woke up the whole thing was over and I have no memory of what happened. I vaguely remember the doctor coming in and giving a brief description of what she found. My memories of the event are limited to the bruising from the IV, soreness in my jaws and plenty of gas from them forcing my GI tract open to look with a camera and some wonderfully warm slipper socks that I got to bring home. (Small things make me happy.)
My mom had a seizure one time and she woke up in the hospital and had no idea why or how she got there. I can’t imagine that amount of disorientation. My husband has a story from his past about driving an 18 wheeler. He drove for hours and has no memory of the road but suddenly woke up parked on the side of the road with his head lying on his steering wheel. A few years ago I had a sudden awakening on my way home from work on a ramp; it took me a while to figure out what highway I was on. I was still going the right way toward home. Though my eyes were open I was not registering the reality of where I was.
Not knowing how you got where you are is scary. And yet in my life I sometimes look around and have no idea how I got here. I can tell you most of the events but still have no explanation how it led me to this point in my life. Sometimes it looks like our eyes are wide open but we are really in a daze and unaware of our direction in life.
I don’t have all the answers but I know someone who does. I am glad that in my life I know that even if I am unaware of what is happening there is someone who is well aware. I take comfort in knowing that if there are times I cannot remember that God has been holding me in His hands and directing my steps.
Proverbs 20:24 (NIV)
A person’s steps are directed by the Lord.
How then can anyone understand their own way?
I will admit that I do not know my way but I take comfort in the fact that God does. Enjoy your week and I will be back next week with more.