Constructive correction involves helping the child understand what they did wrong and the proper way to act. This is not easy. It takes extra thought on what to say. Praying for wisdom is the first step to take.
I have learned a few things about correction over the years. The first one is: Do not generalize a child’s behavior. Telling a child “You always …..” or “You never …..” gives them no room to grow. There is no direction in a generalization. If you tell your child “You always do the right thing” the first time they mess up they may feel great condemnation and not know what to do. If you tell your child “You always mess up” they may feel all hope is gone and continue on the wrong path because that is your view of them. The same scenario occurs with any generalization.
Children are growing and changing moment by moment. As they learn repentance and forgiveness their lives can change quickly. A responsible parent keeps these future changes in mind as they train up children in the way they should go. Generalizing their behavior puts them in a box which slows their progress toward maturity.
Every correction of a child should have a bit of hope in it. Just telling a child what they do wrong and never encouraging them that they can do right hurts them. Children who are never encouraged with some positive words will become depressed and lost. Sometimes parents get stuck in a rut of either telling only the good or only the bad. There must be a mix of both for a child to grow up well-rounded.
Parenting is not easy. A parent can be so caught up in circumstances that they have a hard time finding something positive to say. Using the Word of God will help. Speaking God’s promises and words to a child shows them how important they are to God and gives them hope for the future. Teaching a child God’s word gives them tools for godly maturity.
Search for the scriptures to teach your child. Start by using a bible promise index (using books or an internet search for bible promises). Locate your area of interest i.e. fear, hope, peace, love, salvation, etc…, write down those scriptures and begin to teach them to your children. Use examples of stories from the bible that show the characteristic that you are trying to teach them. Give them examples from your life of people who show the characteristics you want in them.
All these things will help train and correct your child constructively. Enjoy your week. I’ll be back next week with more.
- Five Things to Say to Your Children (accessministries.wordpress.com)
- Don’t Give Children Everything They Want (Parenting the Dash 2) (kittypalmer.wordpress.com)
- Keeping Hope Alive PTD4 (kittypalmer.wordpress.com)